Which character are you?

Answer these questions with A, E or T, to see which character you are...

1. Where did you imagine you'd be by 27?                               

A: Solving the world's problems with the proceeds from your best-solving novels. Possibly running some kind of cageless zoo utopia.

E: Pretty much where you are now, give or take a couple more Twitter followers; running a really successful blog, speaking for the people, the go-to authority on every new topic. You're pretty much nailing the 21st century. 

T: Reporting from the front line in Syria, just like your parents, renowned war correspondents who met in the Gaza Strip.

2. What are you most scared of?

A: People not liking you. But everyone likes you. Right? Everyone likes you. You're so likeable. 

E: People discovering you're not as funny, interesting or cool as you appear online.

T: Change, risk, fear itself. Actually having to go to Syria

3. Do you have any hobbies or side projects?

A: Oh god hundreds! How long do you have? Do you want to hear about my idea for a conference for people whose surnames are also names of animals? The key note speaker will be Amelia Fox.. 

E: Social media used to be your hobby but now it's your career, because if you're good enough at your hobby you should be making money from it. Plus it's time consuming keeping up with all your online friends. Hanging out with them. You know, online. 

T: No, I'm not a girl guide.

4. You see a closed door. There is smoke emanating from behind the door. What do you do? 

A: Open the door immediately. There could be a wizard behind it. 

E: If other people are watching, open the door and style it out despite REALLY not wanting to. If alone, don't open the door. Then spend months worrying that someone was filming you and it'll be leaked onto the internet.

T: Don't open the door, but tell your friend there's smoke emanating from a door and hang back while she opens it looking for wizards.

5. How would your friends describe you?

A: Impulsive, in the moment, easily persuaded, caring, and sometimes a little bit of a doormat. 

E: Cool, confident, so current and NOW... but lacking in common sense.  

T: A wily perfectionist who avoids taking risks but is, reluctantly, a source of logical solutions. 

6. What would uncovering a major conspiracy theory mean to you? 

A: I get to put on a wig and go undercover, right? I mean, either way, I'm in. Provided it's for a good cause, obviously. 

E: Oh god can we not just leave it? Haha no I'm joking. Of course I'm joking. If everyone's in, I'm totally in. If that's the cool thing to do.  

T: I can finally prove to everyone I'm not a failure. Oh and the pursuit of truth, justice and standing up the man etc etc. But mainly the failure thing.

7. You would die if people knew...

A: That sometimes you will walk around for days pretending you're The One, the Saviour, like Neo in the Matrix. Or a superhero with the sole power to save the world. You're almost 30. 

E: That you need constant validation (in the form of likes) otherwise you'll crumble. Also you've accidentally started saying the word like instead of yes. 'Does anyone want a tea?' 'Like.' 

T: That while your internet homepage is the Guardian world news, your most visited site is actually Otters That Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch tumblr (or 'OtterBatch').

8. Your two friends tell you you've got to go on the run in a life-threatening situation and someone offers you a free dog. What do you do?

A: Take the dog on the run.

E: Take the dog on the run.

T: Take the dog on the run. 

 

Mostly A's

You Got: ALICE

Alice doesn't plan any further than lunch. She is intelligent, but curiosity embodied and can't not click on an article to see 'what they found behind that door'.  She takes things at face value, which can get her into trouble, but is also a necessary antidote to Tash's cynicism; and her genuine unguarded disposition makes a refreshing change from Esther's carefully constructed persona. While sometimes Esther and Tash do take advantage of Alice's trusting nature (particularly Tash who finds Alice's naivety an easy way to avoid tasks she doesn't want to do) they would be the first to protect her if someone else tried.

ALICE GETS TANGLED INTO THE CONSPIRACY BECAUSE OF HER STRONG MORAL COMPASS AND ALSO BECAUSE IT ALL SOUNDS VERY EXCITING AND SHE MIGHT GET TO WEAR A WIG

Mostly E's

You Got: ESTHER

Esther appears supremely confident, but occasionally struggles with common sense. What she lacks in foresight she makes up for in blind courage. Her swagger means the other two follow her when they really shouldn't - Alice because she trusts her and Tash because she needs someone, anyone, to take charge. When Esther's well intentioned plans inevitably unravel Tash will have a pragmatic solution, and that's the way it's always been. Despite being a hugely successful YouTuber by accident ('I bought a pen' got 12 million hits), underneath Esther's frightened that she's actually more of a 'follower'. Though she pretends doesn't care, she needs the reassurance of her online fans and especially needs Alice and Tash.

ESTHER GETS TANGLED IN THE CONSPIRACY BECAUSE: TASH AND ALICE DO, AND SHE WANTS TO PROVE THAT SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO GO AGAINST THE STATUS QUO. 

Mostly T's

You Got: TASH

Tash longs to be a serious journalist and hates working at ViraLOL. It's hard for her to take herself seriously when she's writing a quiz called 'Which Kitchen Utensil Are You?'. Due to mixture of workplace boredom and disdain, she's developed a knack of getting her way with minimal effort, even if that involves manipulating those around her. The discovery of the quiz data is her chance to finally uncover a real story and prove herself, but it also means she may have to face that fact that she's a bit of a wimp. As in stark contrast to Esther, what Tash lacks in courage she makes up for in foresight. She's pragmatic and can make a thorough plan, but if it wasn't for Alice's impulsiveness and Esther's 'shoot first, ask questions later' mentality she probably wouldn't move past planning. 

TASH GETS TANGLED INTO THE CONSPIRACY BECAUSE: SHE WANTS TO PROVE THAT SHE'S NOT A SCAREDY CAT, AND SHE CAN BE A PROPER JOURNALIST JUST LIKE HER PARENTS.

Mostly B's

You Got: BELLE

You have taken the wrong quiz

 

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